A relationship of convenience
Brandon Heineman and Stacy Schuld met on Facebook Marketplace. He was on a tight budget looking for a pull-out futon for visitors, and she was about to move and just wanted him gone. He paid cash the next day and took it home. “I wasn’t used to handling a ten dollar bill,” Stacy admitted. “It was a bit intoxicating.”
A month later, Stacy’s apartment deal fell through when she failed to meet the minimum credit score requirement, and she texted the only person she knew with a bedroom. unused friends. “If it hadn’t been for the skyrocketing rents and stagnating wages,” Stacy said, “honestly, I don’t think I would have moved in with him.”
The couple tied the knot in May in their garden in front of eight guests under the bewildering watchful eye of Brandon’s landlord, who appeared to be planning a major rent increase. The bride was wearing something extremely old from Facebook’s Buy Nothing Sell Nothing group, something “new” that was obviously borrowed, and something blue that she will be returning for a full refund after the wedding.
As wages continue to fall behind inflation, Stacy believes there is a long future with Brandon. “Also, I wanted my futon back, so that worked out well for me.”
These lovebirds have both graduated
of the Same For-Profit Culinary Institute
Morgan Franz and Joseph Eden graduated from Le Cordon Bleu the same year the school lost its accreditation and closed all of its locations in the United States. But as fate would have it, they would not meet for another four years.
Morgan first spotted Joseph at a bus stop as he walked past on his way to his third job from his second job.
“There he was, standing there, a guy who couldn’t afford a car,” Morgan said. “I knew then that his lack of transportation and my financial insolvency was a foundation on which we could really build a relationship.”
With a twinkle in his eye, Joseph said what initially attracted him to Morgan was his ongoing college loans. “I remember thinking that this man was absolutely fearless in borrowing so much money against zero collateral,” he smiles. “His credit union must have believed in him.”
“When I saw his name next to mine in the class action lawsuit against our alma mater, I felt an even deeper connection,” he said. Soon after, Joseph deferred his payments, and Morgan was granted a forbearance. “Getting a six-month reprieve on the bills was really special, like having the winning lottery numbers but never cashing the ticket.”
“We looked at what we owed,” Joseph agreed. “Then I said to Morgan, ‘Wouldn’t it be fun to legally combine all of this as a joke?’ He looked me straight in the eye and said, ‘Fuck you. Let’s do this.'”
Cheryl Johnston and Ross Montalban III
I knew it was fate
After just two months, Cheryl Johnston got engaged to Ross Montalban III. “I knew he was a hot property so I had to act fast,” she gushed. But within a month of the wedding, Cheryl discovered something that changed the trajectory of their marital timeline: Ross was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy.
“All of a sudden we couldn’t afford her dream wedding anymore,” Ross lamented. “So I did what any real man would do in my situation: I sold the three I’s in my name and replaced them with exclamation marks. Now I’m just Ross Montalban!!! »
“I never wanted Ross to give up his I’s,” Cheryl said. “They meant so much to him. He often talked about them wistfully over late lunches, and once he took me to a safe inside a bank vault and showed them to me. There they were, draped in black velvet, as he had described so many times throughout our courtship.
The sale of the family heirloom was not a total loss. Ross and Cheryl were able to keep a few luxury items, like their silverware and some towels. They can stay financially above water as long as they never have a family.
This couple found a way
have a low budget wedding in a cornfield
Near a highway
After two years of unemployment, Lexie Travers and Jake Schoen knew they had next to nothing to spend on a wedding, let alone a reception. So they decided to give up hiring professionals. “We were financially strapped after Jake’s hernia surgery, so we used the only other currency we had: our friends,” Lexie said.
They took their history with everyone they knew and made a huge imposition out of it. Lexie’s co-worker was the photographer and Jake’s ex was the designated baker. The besties were in charge of decorating and leveling parts of the cornfield. The cleaning crew consisted of their level 2 friends from high school. “The wife and I were completely stressed, as were all the guests there,” Jake said. “So that was good.”
“Even after cutting every corner and DIYDuring the whole event, we are always complicit in the system which literally eats us alive,” they laughed. And they laughed, all the way down the aisle in a monoculture next to a patch of brambles near County Road 12.
Katie and Jason paid rent
Instead of having a wedding
The Baumbergs knew they had a tough decision: have a low-budget wedding or pay rent that month. “At first we thought a wedding is something you have forever and protects you from the elements, but housing might last a day,” Katie said. “Then we realized we had it upside down.” They decided that while a wedding is a big deal, they needed a place to live so they could continue to live.
Even if the couple have higher education STEM degrees, soaring housing prices have a stranglehold on their consumption and their joie de vivre. “I’m doing so much worse than my parents,” Jason said. “And they died.”